doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
