I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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