id be glad to
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
