Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
