I want to stick my p in your. b.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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