Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
