i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
