I want to stick my p in your. b.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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