I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
