I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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