So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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