remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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