they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
