Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
