My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
