There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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