I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
