you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm too high and old for this...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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