spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
