Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
