It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
