Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
