id be glad to
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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