in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
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8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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