Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
