I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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