I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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