Moan for me like Helen Keller
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
