hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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