Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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