So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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