You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
ugly people sure do ruin things
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
