he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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