i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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