just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
