dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
