he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
