Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i think i have herpe
just one?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
