What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize