I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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