return my video game
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
