I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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