he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize