the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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