8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize