I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
