i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
