sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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