i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
