White coat. Heels.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
