And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
