too bad you live with your parents still
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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