Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
