We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
