she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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