I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
