Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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