you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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