What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
