If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
