Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I want a musical about memes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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